To read Miguel's previous entry, click here
September 30, 2014
Dear Minutes Before Six Readers,
I hope when you read this, you find yourselves in the best
of health and the highest of spirits.
Sorry I haven't written in a while, but I am trying to tend
to everything I must. So I hope you all can understand and not hold my silence
against me. I do wish to share the insights of this situation and event, hoping
in a certain way it might help even if it‘s just one person in the future or at
present.
And please don't confine these experiences to the Row, as
really they can be very helpful in anyone’s everyday life. We do face an
execution date, yet every human being one day must face the many dangers and
risk there are in this world in different ways. Each one at one point in life must
face that we are not physically immortal.
These past months have gone into fighting a two-front
battle. On one front I have had to reach
out to lawyers and firms, requesting for help with no money to offer them for
their services and not even being too sure what I could or not do legally, as
we are not allowed to just switch lawyers at will. And then comes the challenge of starting over
- a lawyer or firm has to search for what they can work with and that is not an
easy feat, as even the lawyers appointed to us take at times years to present a
writ on our behalves. I have been very fortunate to have found the Innocence
Network from the University of Houston to look into my case and try to find
something to help me. And also, thanks to Arnold Prieto for his immense help
and support and advice in this legal ordeal and in living here. I thank God I
have his friendship and support. He's
done a great job of combing through possible things that could help and not
letting a day pass with out trying our best to get help and see what venues might
offer assistance. I already received the copy of the clemency petition filed on
my behalf and it was pretty strong.
And I thank my Spiritual Mom, Dorothy, for all her effort
and help in collecting letters of support and I send many thanks to everyone
who wrote one.
Then, on the other front is the serious situation hanging
over me. I cannot wait until the last
minute to decide the legal things that are required, as I must turn in all the
paperwork two weeks prior to the scheduled execution date and there are quite a
number of procedures for everything, such as releasing ones remains. To add to
that it‘s a very difficult topic with the people that one most loves and who
love us, a topic that they find too painful to touch, yet we have to touch it,
knowing that it‘s causing them a lot of pain. Having to prepare for own ones
funeral is a lot more difficult than what one imagines, especially when one is
healthy and full of life, and there is so much love one wishes to share.
Setting visitation schedules that are very limited when
there's a lot of loved ones is challenging too. Add to all this that many loved
ones have been pushing back this event from their mind for many years. It's like catching up and preparing for the worst,
while you already have a rhythm of life with people who have come to love you.
Trying to spend time with your family. Trying to love the best you can those
closest to you. Then you add having to
stand up and not crumble when you see so much pain in those you love. We have
to think first about them and be who uplifts them, having to tell them the
things that hurt them while still finding a way of still being supportive to
them. I would like to tell each one of you, if you have put something off for
tomorrow to deal with a loved one, here or out there, not to wait for a
situation like this, because no matter how big or how little your flaws or
grievances have been, at the end of the day they really don't matter. Each day that passes provides us with us the
opportunity to grow as loving beings, to ask for forgiveness or to forgive
someone, to stop withholding the love our heart freely feels, to allow us to
see a smile on our loved one’s face as we share the love flowing through us.
I want to thank everyone who's been here for me. Thank you
for your time. I hope this might help anyone who's putting things off until
tomorrow. Many blessings to everyone, and I'll be back soon.
Sincerely,
1 comment:
Hi miguel may God be with you and your loved ones through this difficult times. I had a change of mind after reading your court papers and find out there where more people involved who walked out scot free.This where DP gets confusing. Saenz who was rank in the gang and gave orders certainly played a much greater influence in this horrible act. Yet, he gets a much lighter punishment. Thanks for sharing these letters in this website. It certainly helps people overall view life different. youngster out here are obliged to the death penalty, some dont even know it exist. Thanks again for shaing.
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