To read Miguel's previous entry, click here
September 30, 2014
Dear Minutes Before Six Readers,
I hope when you read this, you find yourselves in the best of health and the highest of spirits.
Sorry I haven't written in a while, but I am trying to tend to everything I must. So I hope you all can understand and not hold my silence against me. I do wish to share the insights of this situation and event, hoping in a certain way it might help even if it‘s just one person in the future or at present.
And please don't confine these experiences to the Row, as really they can be very helpful in anyone’s everyday life. We do face an execution date, yet every human being one day must face the many dangers and risk there are in this world in different ways. Each one at one point in life must face that we are not physically immortal.
These past months have gone into fighting a two-front battle. On one front I have had to reach out to lawyers and firms, requesting for help with no money to offer them for their services and not even being too sure what I could or not do legally, as we are not allowed to just switch lawyers at will. And then comes the challenge of starting over - a lawyer or firm has to search for what they can work with and that is not an easy feat, as even the lawyers appointed to us take at times years to present a writ on our behalves. I have been very fortunate to have found the Innocence Network from the University of Houston to look into my case and try to find something to help me. And also, thanks to Arnold Prieto for his immense help and support and advice in this legal ordeal and in living here. I thank God I have his friendship and support. He's done a great job of combing through possible things that could help and not letting a day pass with out trying our best to get help and see what venues might offer assistance. I already received the copy of the clemency petition filed on my behalf and it was pretty strong.
And I thank my Spiritual Mom, Dorothy, for all her effort and help in collecting letters of support and I send many thanks to everyone who wrote one.
Then, on the other front is the serious situation hanging over me. I cannot wait until the last minute to decide the legal things that are required, as I must turn in all the paperwork two weeks prior to the scheduled execution date and there are quite a number of procedures for everything, such as releasing ones remains. To add to that it‘s a very difficult topic with the people that one most loves and who love us, a topic that they find too painful to touch, yet we have to touch it, knowing that it‘s causing them a lot of pain. Having to prepare for own ones funeral is a lot more difficult than what one imagines, especially when one is healthy and full of life, and there is so much love one wishes to share.
Setting visitation schedules that are very limited when there's a lot of loved ones is challenging too. Add to all this that many loved ones have been pushing back this event from their mind for many years. It's like catching up and preparing for the worst, while you already have a rhythm of life with people who have come to love you. Trying to spend time with your family. Trying to love the best you can those closest to you. Then you add having to stand up and not crumble when you see so much pain in those you love. We have to think first about them and be who uplifts them, having to tell them the things that hurt them while still finding a way of still being supportive to them. I would like to tell each one of you, if you have put something off for tomorrow to deal with a loved one, here or out there, not to wait for a situation like this, because no matter how big or how little your flaws or grievances have been, at the end of the day they really don't matter. Each day that passes provides us with us the opportunity to grow as loving beings, to ask for forgiveness or to forgive someone, to stop withholding the love our heart freely feels, to allow us to see a smile on our loved one’s face as we share the love flowing through us.
I want to thank everyone who's been here for me. Thank you for your time. I hope this might help anyone who's putting things off until tomorrow. Many blessings to everyone, and I'll be back soon.