June 30th 2009
The prospect of writing a real entry tonight feels something on par with Hercules’ twelve labors. My recuperation is going quite well, thank you, but I am still very tired and note feeling terribly creative since I started refusing my pain meds. My reasons for doing so are a little complicated, but the logic can basically be summed up by saying that I would rather face a painful truth, than live with a blissful illusion. In all things. Remember I said that for later. All in all, my body feels pretty good. The eternal pessimist in me is slowly accepting defeat (at least on the medical issue), though he still keeps up a nearly incessant stream of ridiculous tarradiddle, just to make his presence known.
At any rate, though I feel incapable of delving into any specific subject with even a modicum of acumen, I will leave you with a few items you might find of interest. The FIRST is the psych report I promised to post. I originally offered to do this in a fit of self-effacing fervor, thinking that this was positively an action which no self-respecting narcissist would engage in. After I started thinking about it, I realized that there were other people mentioned in the report, both in name and title, and I have no right to put them out there in this fashion. I hope you understand then why I have blacked out names and descriptors which might be used to identify someone. I have always taken care to include only people who have given me permission to mention them, with the exception being public figures. (You might devote a few seconds of thought to that statement, as it will produce some rather interesting conclusions.) I had also originally planned to explain portions of the report, and had compiled a small mountain of data from the DSM-IV and other sources. In the end, I decided to let it stand, as is. I’m tired of defending myself, and it would take away from my attempt at complete openness and vulnerability if I were to hover about making comments. It is what it is, and I never professed to be anything other than broken.
In addition, I am supplying the RESULTS of a handwriting analysis completed by one of the FBI’s most experienced experts in the field. This professional was supplied with two samples of my handwriting, and came up with an absolutely staggering amount of data, most of it pretty accurate. I always believed Heraclitus when he wrote, “The nature of things is in the habit of concealing itself,” but I am afraid H never met anyone from the FBI’s Behavioral Science teams. If you think it odd that I have access to such an expert, I will only say I have some kickass friends.
For those of you with a more intellectual bent, the next three links are for you. FIRST I have provided the results of a recent study of criminologists and their views on the issue of deterrence as it relates to the death penalty. Highly instructive.
In the same vein HERE is a report by the US Department of Justice on conditions in the Harris County (Houston) jails. Gee, it’s funny how it says the exact same thing that inmates have been saying for years …(and been called liars for!).
For the more globally minded, HERE is what the United Nations says about the state of capital punishment in America, as of May 28th, 2009.
Now, most of that is kind of heavy, so I thought I would leave you with something humorous. Behold! The lunatic fringe SPEAKETH! Posted is this lady’s third of fourth letter to me, and each of these wonderful samples possessed all the wit and charm of a fallout shelter, and prove the point that while beauty may only be skin deep, ugly goes all the way to the bone. At least this particular missive doesn’t wax pathetic for six pages, like the last few. It’s kind of cute: on the inside of the envelope flap she has drawn some red pen marks dripping down, which I can only assume is supposed to represent blood. Very… um… normal… and… uh, well-adjusted… and totally not freaking psycho in any way whatsoever. You are a credit to the militant right, madam! Well done! Perhaps I will be dead in a few years, as you so clearly wish, but your tombstone was carved out years ago. For you, I can think of hundreds of fitting epitaphs to stand in lapidary brilliance for all time, but I think I will keep it simple and with W.H. Auden:
I will go ahead and save you the effort of having to enter the scary world of internet searches and provide you with mine, penned by G.K. Chesterton:
And since such statements require a little explanation, I will allow this to be undertaken by Dostoyevsky and John of Patmos.
(Father Tikhon the monk in Dostoyevsky’s “The Possessed”)
Rev 3:15-19
One last note: lady, if you are pissed that I forced them to live up to the ethical guidelines decreed by statute and upon which any ethical individual would demand, you are REALLY going to hate what I have in store for the State of Texas in the coming year. Haha! On that note, I’m out.
Night!
© Copyright 2009 by Thomas Bartlett Whitaker.
All rights reserved
The prospect of writing a real entry tonight feels something on par with Hercules’ twelve labors. My recuperation is going quite well, thank you, but I am still very tired and note feeling terribly creative since I started refusing my pain meds. My reasons for doing so are a little complicated, but the logic can basically be summed up by saying that I would rather face a painful truth, than live with a blissful illusion. In all things. Remember I said that for later. All in all, my body feels pretty good. The eternal pessimist in me is slowly accepting defeat (at least on the medical issue), though he still keeps up a nearly incessant stream of ridiculous tarradiddle, just to make his presence known.
At any rate, though I feel incapable of delving into any specific subject with even a modicum of acumen, I will leave you with a few items you might find of interest. The FIRST is the psych report I promised to post. I originally offered to do this in a fit of self-effacing fervor, thinking that this was positively an action which no self-respecting narcissist would engage in. After I started thinking about it, I realized that there were other people mentioned in the report, both in name and title, and I have no right to put them out there in this fashion. I hope you understand then why I have blacked out names and descriptors which might be used to identify someone. I have always taken care to include only people who have given me permission to mention them, with the exception being public figures. (You might devote a few seconds of thought to that statement, as it will produce some rather interesting conclusions.) I had also originally planned to explain portions of the report, and had compiled a small mountain of data from the DSM-IV and other sources. In the end, I decided to let it stand, as is. I’m tired of defending myself, and it would take away from my attempt at complete openness and vulnerability if I were to hover about making comments. It is what it is, and I never professed to be anything other than broken.
In addition, I am supplying the RESULTS of a handwriting analysis completed by one of the FBI’s most experienced experts in the field. This professional was supplied with two samples of my handwriting, and came up with an absolutely staggering amount of data, most of it pretty accurate. I always believed Heraclitus when he wrote, “The nature of things is in the habit of concealing itself,” but I am afraid H never met anyone from the FBI’s Behavioral Science teams. If you think it odd that I have access to such an expert, I will only say I have some kickass friends.
For those of you with a more intellectual bent, the next three links are for you. FIRST I have provided the results of a recent study of criminologists and their views on the issue of deterrence as it relates to the death penalty. Highly instructive.
In the same vein HERE is a report by the US Department of Justice on conditions in the Harris County (Houston) jails. Gee, it’s funny how it says the exact same thing that inmates have been saying for years …(and been called liars for!).
For the more globally minded, HERE is what the United Nations says about the state of capital punishment in America, as of May 28th, 2009.
Now, most of that is kind of heavy, so I thought I would leave you with something humorous. Behold! The lunatic fringe SPEAKETH! Posted is this lady’s third of fourth letter to me, and each of these wonderful samples possessed all the wit and charm of a fallout shelter, and prove the point that while beauty may only be skin deep, ugly goes all the way to the bone. At least this particular missive doesn’t wax pathetic for six pages, like the last few. It’s kind of cute: on the inside of the envelope flap she has drawn some red pen marks dripping down, which I can only assume is supposed to represent blood. Very… um… normal… and… uh, well-adjusted… and totally not freaking psycho in any way whatsoever. You are a credit to the militant right, madam! Well done! Perhaps I will be dead in a few years, as you so clearly wish, but your tombstone was carved out years ago. For you, I can think of hundreds of fitting epitaphs to stand in lapidary brilliance for all time, but I think I will keep it simple and with W.H. Auden:
“We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die.”
I will go ahead and save you the effort of having to enter the scary world of internet searches and provide you with mine, penned by G.K. Chesterton:
“Then when this kindly world all round the mane has been blackened out like a lie; when friends fade into ghosts, and the foundations of the world fail; then when the man, believing in nothing and in no man, is alone in his own nightmare, then the great individualistic motto shall be written over him in avenging irony. The stars will be only dots in the blackness of his brain; his mothers face will be only a sketch from his own insane pencil on the walls of his cell. But over his cell shall be written, with dreadful truth, ‘He believes in himself’”
And since such statements require a little explanation, I will allow this to be undertaken by Dostoyevsky and John of Patmos.
“Whatever you say, a complete atheist still stands on the next-to-the-top rung on the ladder of perfect faith. He may take that last step; and he may not – who knows? But the indifferent, they certainly have no faith, only an ugly fear – and only the most sensitive of them have that.”
(Father Tikhon the monk in Dostoyevsky’s “The Possessed”)
“I know your deeds, that you are neither cold not hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm – neither hot nor cold – I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are WRETCHED, PITIFUL, POOR BLIND AND NAKED. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eye, so you can see. THOSE WHOM I LOVE I REBUKE AND DISCIPLINE.”
Rev 3:15-19
One last note: lady, if you are pissed that I forced them to live up to the ethical guidelines decreed by statute and upon which any ethical individual would demand, you are REALLY going to hate what I have in store for the State of Texas in the coming year. Haha! On that note, I’m out.
Night!
© Copyright 2009 by Thomas Bartlett Whitaker.
All rights reserved
